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  • Warren Shoulberg

Presents of Mine

Warren ShoulbergWarren Shoulberg
WELL, TEXTILES FANS, it's naughty-and-nice time again. Seems like only yesterday we were shopping for our yuletide favorites to pick out just the perfect little bauble for the perfect - and not-so-perfect - of the home textiles industry.
     And yet, in the blink of a cotton future, we are back here once more trying to sort out the year and make our shopping selections.
     If you are new to this feature, the rules are simple: What do certain individuals on both the supply and retail sides of the industry truly need and/or deserve to make their holiday special?
     And if you've been here before, you know there is no paucity of thought or lack of polite restraint in these festive holiday gift-giving suggestions.
     Which is not to say business isn't tough. There are a lot of good people out of work and things are just not as much fun as they used to be. But that doesn't mean you have to take the whole thing too seriously, does it?
     So, with tongue once more placed firmly in cheek, I humbly offer up some special gifts for some oh-so-special people.
Mike Duke: What he didn't get last year, an actual working strategy for home at Walmart. Maybe this time.
Mike Ullman: A graceful exit
Jose Gomes de Silva: More real business in North America to make reals in South America.
Bed Bath & Beyond merchandising staff: Transporters from Star Trek to go from Long Island to New Jersey in five seconds.
Ron Johnson: A stick of dynamite to blow up the org chart down in Plano.
Norm Savaria: Continued distractions in Commercial Metals, Clorox, Reckson, Dynegy and Lear for Carl Icahn.
Fast Eddie Lampert: More. Just more.
Ron Johnson: Two sticks of dynamite to blow up that silly statue in the lobby down in Plano.
Lord & Taylor: 812 more L&T Home stores.
Vendors fed up with BBB: 812 more L&T Home stores.
Kevin Mansell: Marriage counseling for J Lo and Marc.
Terry Lundgren: A not-so-fond farewell card for you-know-who.
Ron Johnson: Ten sticks of dynamite to blow up the corporate culture down in Plano.
Chris Capuano: Someone to give her the great job she so deserves.
Greg Steinhafel: Band width.
Alan Gladstone: Hitting 300.
Ron Johnson: 1,107 sticks of dynamite to blow up the current merchandise in every Penney store in the country.
Rich Roman: More Tommy guns.
Cotton growers: The return of the speculators.
Cotton users: The demise of the speculators.
Gary Friedman: Belgian flax...from Belgium.
Ron Johnson: An Apple for what he's truly thinking.
And to all: Peace on Earth.

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